Friday, April 28, 2006

2 Random Thoughts

1. I just discovered Baby Ruth candy bars. I knew they existed, but I didn't know they were so GOOD! Oh man, please keep them away from me!

2. I obviously didn't think about the future, or that I'd get pregnant fast, when I named my blog and myself. Since I'm not adventuring in conception anymore... should I change the blog name? What do you guys think? Should I reveal my (secret) identity? Would you like to know my name?

(the funny thing is, all the people who read this (hi babycenter friends!) already know my name... but just in case there are other people out there)

Now is the time to comment. I need help people!

Hello, my name is Silently Hoping, and I?

Am a reality TV junkie.

No seriously its bad. And I don't even have CABLE.

(I'll let all who are shocked by the lack of cable recover. Better? okay, moving on).

My week consists of either trying very hard to watch the shows I love, or reading the updates online. Because I just can't go a day without knowing what happened last night. So here are a few of my favs and my views and predictions.

American Idol: Oh man, am I glad that Kellie Pickler is gone. Being from the south, I get really really annoyed at people thinking that everyone from the south a.) has a really thick accent, b.) is really stupid, or c.) all of the above. Thanks Kellie for maintaining the stereotype. But anyway... I LOVE Chris, Taylor, and Elliot. Amazing. But if I had to pick a top two I think it'll go between Chris and Katherine. Though I'm not sure if Taylor has ever been in the bottom 3... hmmm..

America's Next Top Model: WOW! its like a train wreck people! You can't look away. And it has the makings of the best drinking game ever... if you drank any time Tyra said "America's Next Top Model" alone you'd be drunker than a skunk in no time. Anyway. I really liked Nnenna at first, but she got old. Very very old. I actually like Jade. I think that Jade reminds Tyra too much of Naomi Campbell and it frightens her. But I think Joanie is a contender too... she's really shined lately.

Amazing Race: The one reality TV show I'd actually be on. If I could find a partner. Anyway. I'd love either the Hippies or MoJo to win. I know MoJo is annoying to some... but I like them for some reason. The frat boys... eh. I dont' know what it is, I just can't like them. Just can't. I was oh so sad that the older couple left (I so can't remember their names right now? Fran? Barry? what?). They were just so cute! And they worked well together.

American Inventor: (Have you noticed that most reality shows have "American" in them? what's that about). This show is okay. But for some reason I still watch it. I really liked the new bike the kid designed last night. I'd buy it.

Survivor: SO over it. Haven't watched it since All Star's. Done and done.

Supernanny: Jo is awesome. LOVE her. Love this show! Being a psychology major (grad school) and Elementary Education major (undergrad) I can say that her methods are spot on. ha... look at me using British terms. Unfortunately I don't get to watch her much because I have dance class on Mondays. But I'll be so catching up this summer. oh yes!

WifeSwap/Trading Spouses: I can't ever keep these two straight. But they are funny! FUNNY! I only watch if I'm channel surfing and I catch them on, because I can't seem to remember when they come on or what channel. But oh! That "Christian lady" who went all psycho? UGH! PLEASE PLEASE don't use her as an example of what Christians are like. Seriously? She scared me a bit. And we are NOT all like that. I promise.

So yeah, those are the shows I like. I don't get to watch them all every week... but they are awesome!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

1st Trimester Surprises

Or... things they DON'T tell you before you get knocked-up.

(hee... I've always wanted to use that term)

1. You will start peeing a lot very soon. A LOT. Like the people you walk past on the way to the bathroom will think you are crazy. As will your coworkers.

2. Public bathrooms are public enemy #1 when it comes to morning sickness.

3. Morning sickness does NOT only happen in the morning.

4. You will start to get fat early. No, its not the baby, but people will still rub your belly.

5. Your boobs will grow. A lot. And really, really fast. This causes stretch marks and itching.

6. You will lose all memory.

7. You will want to go to bed at 7pm because you are so exhausted. But when you do go to bed, you won't be able to fall asleep! FUN!

8. Your CM will increase, causing you to FREAK OUT that you are bleeding, in which you run to the bathroom, almost in tears.

9. Dr. Jeckell & Mr. Hyde? Those mood swings got NOTHING on you. You can now go from sobbing to "Oh that dress is so pretty on you" in 2.5 seconds.

10. The GAS! Oh my God, the GAS!

11. You will be terrified you will lose your baby. It will seem as if miscarriages are everywhere. Stupid, mean people will remind you that 1 out of ever 5 pregnancies fail.

12. But remember -- that means that 4 out of 5 are successful. I like those odds.

13. You will love your baby more than you thought it was possible to love someone you've never met, barely has a heartbeat, and looks like a tadpole.

PS -- btw, we did see a heartbeat at our April 17th appointment. It was at about 150 beats per minute. And that blob was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Venturing into dangerous territory

In the world of infertility there are several deadly sins, including, but not limited to:

1. Never tell a woman to just relax and they'll get pregnant
2. Under no circumstances should you tell an infertile friend over and over about your "oops" pregnancy
3. All pregnant women who complain about being pregnant should be shot.

Okay I'm exaggerating a little. (but not much)

If you frequent infertility boards, you'll find a myriad of different viewpoints, but the majority agree on the above. I, personally, never agreed to #3... but I'm afraid I'm going to really anger some people.

I haven't posted because I've been awfully sick. I barely get through the work day and only complete outside tasks on an "as needed" basis. Read: I only do them when it becomes an extreme emergency; such as I've run out of sour candy... holy crap get thee to the store! Stat!

The morning (noon and night) sickness is enough to drive you batty. To me throwing up ranks up there with war, poverty, and the AIDS epidemic as the worst things in the world. So to have to endure this practically everyday is awful. And when the only things that help (spicy foods, Dr. Pepper, chips, etc) also give you heartburn... now that makes for a fun day!

Now, I'm very happy to be pregnant. I'm thrilled and overwhelmed with joy. I cry at the mere thought of how blessed I am (and at Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty commercials). But I am NOT happy about being sick. And I'm not going to pretend to be. Cause that seems a little silly (and a lot masochistic). So if you see me around the internet (because my real life people still do not know about this blog) and I'm not bursting with the glow and happiness of motherhood... now you know why.

And please don't tell me that I should really be happy. Because then "The Moody" might come out and kill you. And we don't want that, now do we?

Monday, April 03, 2006


Yeah... I'm sure you were all wondering where I went. I mean, I go in for a pregnancy test and then never update. I'm such a meanie.

So what has happened this last week? Everything.

Last weekend was uneventful. After my blood draw, I went to work. My husband was out of town, so I spent the weekend doing stuff that I wanted to do with friends and family. It was pretty nice.

I also spent the weekend obsessing, as you can see in my last post.

On Monday I woke up feeling crappy. I was cramping and tired and felt just like my period was coming. I didn't think I could handle that happening at work. But since they said if by Monday my period didn't come to call them, I decided to wait until noon.

By noon... nothing. Still crampy, still exhausted. But no period. Oh and a temperature of 98.64... (by now, most people would have figured out that something must be up. But I so didn't want to get my hopes up, so I explained everything away.)

So I called the office and left a message with my doctor's nurse to call me back.

Me: Hello?

Her: Hi, how do you feel today?

Me: Eh, I'm okay.

Her: Do you feel pregnant?

Me: *stunned silence* What? Should I?

Her: Maaaaybe! Congratulations.

Me: *cries & laughs*

So apparently, my HSG level was a 16 on Friday or 10 days past ovulation. Anything over a 5 means you are pregnant. They had me come in to do a test to make sure they are doubling and that my progesterone level was better than before... cause 8.9 just isn't good enough.

I thought, okay, this is where the other shoe is going to drop. This is where it all goes wrong. I can't write about it yet. Its too fresh.

I got my results on Tuesday. Your HSG level is supposed to double ever 48 hours. So by Sunday it should have been a healthy 32.

On Monday... mine was 130! 130!!!!

And my progesterone was 21.9. They like it to be over 10. I'm such an overachiever.

So yeah. I'm pregnant. I'm due in December and I'm super nervous we won't see a heartbeat on April 17th so we aren't coming out of the pregnancy closet just yet. I'm exhausted. Starting to get morning sickness. Gassy. Bloated. Moody. E-M-O-T-I-O-N-A-L. Pee every 30 minutes.

And its wonderful. God is a good God who doesn't listen to "its very very unlikely".